slow down for Him
i need to slow down
i need to put everythin on slow mo.
i feel so caught up with everything going on in my life now... it seems like there are way too many things waitin for me to do... i juz dont know where to start... the sad part is that i havent really done anything yet... today i was plannin to chill w/ my ma all day long.. but guess what time i woke up ... 6 pm.. yup 6 in the evening... and i felt so messed up ... i knew i was sleepin way to much.. but i juz didnt want to get out of bed... cuz once im out of my bed .. there will be a thousands things waitin for me to do! life feels so unsatisfing for me... its like a same routine everyday... bad things keep on poppin up in my life, work sucks big time, feeling lazy, school is blah~, bad relationship w/ friends, growin far from Him, feeling lost, totally dependent on material things and girls to brighten my day... what a loserish life im living! i simply need directions in my life... speakin of which .. i really want to go to campus challenge.. but cant afford cuz of all the material things and luxuries that cost.... *angry*...
so today i woke up at six... i still got to hang w/ the family thank God nobody went out... we had home cooked pho... soo yummmmy! watched braveheart... such a good movie... then i watched sexTV... for some reasons our satelite service gave us this specialty channel... it was quite interesting, very informative in the non-dirty way... then i finally started my reading for geography, this class has so much reading for me.. i dont know how to read them all... i should be doing my reading now.. but wanted to get some stuff out of my system...
tomorrow comes a new day... a new day for me to do things that needs to be done!
wake up and go to school
join the gym
go to church
no starbucks
go home
call the police
clear court issues (too many issues w/ the po-po's, i'll update later)
do a day to day schedule for work
read a journal for geo
do my communications lab
will i get all this done? i doubt it.. but i will try...
im soo angry... my LCD screen for my camera got cracked :( its not workin now.. i dont know what to do ... it was a purchase from japan.. so the warranty is voided here... arrgghh so mad!..
running low on $$ again... need to work and pay school fee
my co-workers are against me.. all of them... i dont know why.... its seems like they dont like me cuz i get favoured more by the general manager.... im juz there to do my job... they dont have to envy anything of me.. i have nothing... ontop of that workin w/ my ex is not a good idea so far... saw her.. but pretty sure somebody is mad at khoa :( ... cant and wont do anything... i'm not lookin for anymore trouble... ... i always get a strange feeling when i go to the office... its like i juz walked-in when they juz finished talkin about me... all my coworkers including my ex... not a nice feeling... not at alll
now u see why i choose to stay in bed rather then wakin up and having to deal with all these stuff?
oh i want my God now!
one day at a time
as im sittin here lookin at the screen, recallin of all of the events that happened over the past two weeks of crayzness, i just dont know where to begin! lets break it down...
summer is here for me... this summer will suck big time!!!! after last years summer i started to hate it so much... last year... i had to do 3 jobs and 2 hard courses... and then this year.. i'll have 2 jobs and 4 courses ... i dont know how i'm gonna divide up my time...
work- workin at mexxx is startin to get on my nerves... some bad management... hopefully things will get better at that place... truth is, i lost the passsion of workin there... juz stickin around for the discount and easy $$... i dont really have much option at this point. my other job... will be a boo boo as well... workin w/ my ex... and a bunch of hischool kids at canada's largest water park - wild water kingdom..... drama, politics, scandals, sex, and all that 'good' stuff, we've got it all! i'm tryin to avoid my ex... the break up wasnt that bad to me.. but she seems a bit mad about something... i dont know.. and not lookin forward to find out... tryin hard not to fall for any girl this year at this stupid water park!!! this is the place where all of my summer flings happened... every year a new chick (or even a couple of them)... i disgust myself!! hopefully i'll use what i learned from CCF and from readin the bible to tame the devil within me..
school - the past semester was definitely super hard!!! i'm kinda glad that its over.. but now i'm in that stage where i'm afraid to find out whether i'll fail my courses and get suspended or not! i was really scared during exam time... i did mad prayers... but as i prayed i felt selfish... i always want want want... but when its time for me to give up things ... i always make up excuses to avoid giving up anything that bring me pleasure... how selfish! i have a little confession to make... after my stats exam (THE hardest course ever!) when i realized that i might have an 80% chance of failin the class and stayin bak another year... so i bought a gift to bribe my prof!!!! how horrible eh? but when i went to her office, i told her my situation, how i studied everythign that she told me to study for, but i juz cant seem to understand it.. she then asked for my name, and pulled out my exam from a big stack of papers!! i was pooping in my pants... soo scary i tell you... so she went through my exam w/ me right there, and she said i have a passing exam.. but will i pass the class?.. shes still not sure, dependin on how the class do, she will decide... and then she added 'if u marginally failed the course... i will give u a mini exam with only one question to do in 30 min; if you get it correctly, i will add the marks ontop of ur exam mark'... i was like wow!!! how nice can a prof be??? she said she'll give me a call over the weekend if the mini exam is required.. but i havent recieved any calls yet, and its tuesday already.. i dont know if its a bad thing or a good thing... im soo scared... i swear to God ... this prof is soo nice.. i spent an hour talkin to her... so after alll this exam talk... i finally give her the gift and she loved it. i really hope she'll pass me.!!!. *prayin like mad* ---
so the spring semester starts 2morrow... but my first class is on thurs ... i got two bonus days to bum around.. but thursdays will be a killer starting from this week... i got geography from 9 to 4 pm every thursday... this will suck big time!! hopefully steph will be in my class! im a bit excited... after all, this is my first elective course since 2 years ago... finally i have a class w/ girls... wooo hooo!
self - since my last exam... ive been chillin a lot... sqeezing out every minute i can get to relax and enjoy myself and the ppl around me... trying to complete everything that was left un-done. also i spent a lot of time alone relaxin by the lake, fishing, enjoy the food and wine... driving around like an idiot w/o a destination... i got couple of things left to do ... clean the house, do some yard work, &goin clubbing w/ the boys.
april 29 - CCFs year end banquet was interesting and very different from all of the other banquets that ive been to... it was unromantic, quiet, no loud music, no dancing, no mackin, no bumpin & grindin, no alcohol, no drunken ppl, nobody sneaked out to get high, and no fights... but on the other hand, it was warm, it was nice, even tho i'm not close to any one there, but i could feel the subtle care that everybody have for one another and includin me, it was simple clean fun w/o any intentions. moreover, it was a bit sad, when ppl had their parting speech during hot seats, but there will lots more exciting things out there for them to do to glorify God's name. Something funny happend.. which i thought was quite embarrassing... i came to the banquet only almost 2 hours late, with a rose in my hand which i promised somebody that i'd give them (a rose) one of these days... ok ok .. lets back track that a bit... so as i was stuck on lakeshore driving at 10km/h cuz the gardiner was closed for construction. i thought i'd get a rose for this person since i dont know how much longer i would live or how many more times i get to see her... cuz recently i almost gotten myself killed on the road many times... but i guess God doesnt want me to die yet.. so i decided to go to dominion to get her a rose.... and guess what... no one was workin in the floral section... then i demanded for a manager... she juz told me to help myself and get any one rose from any dozen i like.. so there were like over 15 dozen of roses...aand i'm supposed to pick the freshest and the best lookin rose out .. that wasnt easy... then i helped myself over at the counter and wrapped it... i did a crappy wrappin job.. but i had to rush cuz i was really really late already... then i parked the car and went to the multipurpose room... walked in --> everybody was at their table eating... and all of a sudden.. everybody looked up ... i didnt know what to do ... cuz everybody was aaskin about the rose.. ooooooohhh'ing and awwww'ing .. i was embarased... then i rushed quickly to find her and gave it to her... sorry if i embarrassed you.... im sure my face was red... cuz i could feel the heat boilin off my face.... like geez ppl it was only a flower for a friend... i felt liek i put on a scene and set myself up for this one... i'm glad its over ... the rest of the night was juz simply great time spent w/ brothers and sisters.
ok .. i better end here.. this is gettin a bit lengthy and pointless... i'll continue w/ my summer next time... ciao!!!!
one good song!
jack is the man yall!!! crazy song~Breakdown...I hope this old train breaks down Then I could take a walk around See what there is to see Time is just a melody With all the people in the streets Walk as fast as their feet can take them I just roll through town And though my window's got a view Well the frame I'm looking through Seems to have no concern for now so for now I
I need this old train to breakdown Oh, please just let me please breakdown
Well this engine screams out loud Centipede gonna crawl westbound So I don't even make a sound Cause it's gonna sting me when leave this town And the people in the streets That I'll never get to meet If these tracks don't bend somehow And I got no time that I got to get To where I don't need to be so I I need this old train to breakdown Oh, please just let me please breakdown I need this old train to breakdown Oh, please just let me please breakdown I want to break on down But I can't stop now Let me break on down But you can't stop nothing if you got no control Of the thoughts in your mind that you kept and you know You don't know nothing but you don't need to know The wisdom's in the trees not the glass windows You can't stop wishing if you don't let go The things that you find and you lose and you know You keep on rolling, put the moments on hold The frame's too bright, so put the blinds down low
I need this old train to breakdown Oh, please just let me please breakdown I need this old train to breakdown Oh, please just let me please breakdown
I want to break on down But I can't stop now
introducing... 'Jade Towers' my pocket plant... its growing!!! see the two little branch in the middle??? it wasnt there b4.... they're 2 weeks old
late at night .. walkin on yonge street... snap a cab!
just another day...
im kinda glad today is over!... spent the whole day at school ... for like 12 hours at school on a sunday makes me sick.!!! i hate engineering... smelly guys (engineers)... and the fact that there are no girls!!! argghhh ... engineering building = sausage fest for business and ece students... haha... thank god i didnt have to drive home alone tonight.. it was pretty late and i was a bit sleepy after dinner... had indian food today... which means that i might 'run' tomorrow... i was kinda disappointed w/ the restaurant... cuz they didnt have butter chicken!.... i wasnt satisfy.. but time well spent w/ a few new ppl.
so two more weeks of school is left... i'm starting to get a little scared about my exams... again.. i got back to back to back exams... 3 days in a row... im gonna die!! i gotta pray for this one!. i'm super worried about my 80% final exam.. i gotta go hardcore on this!!!
so april 29 is ccf formal... juz decided yday that iwas gonna go... thanx to someboy.. haha... dont know what to wear yet.. maybe white??? to contrast w/ black? *wink wink*... i love formals... very exciting... this one should be fun with all the bros and sis...
goin to this formal is cuttin into some other good things... mexxx is doing lazer quest on the same day .. and i gotta help a friend move outta peterborough.. so depending if she really really need my help... i might not be able to go to the formal!! but well see ... this formal might actually be worth going!...
oh yeah.... i found super marios brothers 3... its sooo crazy... look at the pic above... the best video game out there... i love it... and my mom loves it too ... she told to get it for her to play.. what a mom!... she calls it 'the mushroom game'... haha.. 1up!!! what the heck is 1up... it makes no sense...
but anyways... its late... im off to bed....
- got couple of friends who doesnt have thing going well for them... but no worries... He has better plans for you, neither He or I have forgotten about you ... keep on hangin on there... and one day the good plans will unfold right infront of you... dont be discouraged, and turn that frown up side down!
have a good day !!!
What would you do if you were to call up your friend, and found out that he passed away?...
For the past couple of days its been hell for me... i had one of the worst flu in my life... the virus muated so fast... it worn me down juz in 2 days span... at night i couldnt sleep because i was too cold, even though my room was boiling hot with my heater set to high... i had so much cold sweat. i was at 39 degress C for almost 24 hours straight.. then i decided to go to a walk-in clinic.. got some new medication.. and got a bit better today... then i realized i still have to do my major assignment which was due this morning!! i'm screwed... my good for nothing partner is totally useless, he doesnt do anything for this assignment .. as usual... at times i really want to screw him over ... but then i cant do that to someone.
I'm kinda glad that i got over the flu, now i only have to deal with the cold. Pretty bad year so far with all the sickness. I'm pretty sure i got it from a friend of mine whom i went out to lunch with last week. i had a dream when i was dozing off after my medication... i dreamt of Brian having the 'avian' flu because we had chicken for lunch on that day... and obviously i caught the flu from him.. .which means i will die soon! .. yes.. i sorta freaked out for a bit after i woke up from my messed up dream... but comes to think about it .. death isnt too bad.. not bad at all, considerin how my suck so badly ... no i'm not in a depression or anything .. it just that life is not that fun at the moment.. when is all of this gonna be over???
ok enough w/ my depressing talk... i still gotta finish my assignment...
i hate school!
smile and have a good day!
Bonjour Vietnam
Raconte moi ce nom étrange et difficile à prononcer
Que je porte depuis que je suis née.
Raconte moi le vieil empire et le trait de mes yeux bridés,
Qui disent mieux que moi ce que tu n'oses dire.
Je ne sais de toi que des images de la guerre,
Un film de Coppola, [et] des hélicoptères en colère ...
Un jour, j'irai là bas, un jour dire bonjour à ton âme.
Un jour, j'irai là bas [pour] te dire bonjour, Vietnam.
Raconte moi ma couleur, mes cheveux et mes petits pieds,
Qui me portent depuis que je suis née.
Raconte moi ta maison, ta rue, raconte moi cet inconnu,
Les marchés flottants et les sampans de bois.
Je ne connais de mon pays que des photos de la guerre,
Un film de Coppola, [et] des hélicoptères en colère ...
Un jour, j'irai là bas, un jour dire bonjour à mon âme.
Un jour, j'irai là bas [pour] te dire bonjour, Vietnam.
Les temples et les Boudhas de pierre pour mes pères,
Les femmes courbées dans les rizières pour mes mères,
Dans la prière, dans la lumière, revoir mes frères,
Toucher mon âme, mes racines, ma terre...
Un jour, j'irai là bas, un jour dire bonjour à mon âme.
Un jour, j'irai là bas [pour] te dire bonjour, Vietnam (2 fois)
